Holy balls am I struggling. I need to work out. Like I have to move my body, for my sanity, but also to lose some weight and get healthier again before we do the FET. I have to start, and the only way to start is to do it… and yet, I’m just not. I’m not really doing anything. Why? I used to ADORE working out. I would always look forward to all my bicep workouts before each gym visit. I was a self-professed Gym Rat, and proud of it too, before we had the Bean Sprout.

It was so much better and easier to work out then. I wasn’t missing out on anything if I went to the gym. Now, I like have to choose what part of his day I don’t want to do in order to squeeze a workout in. Like if I do it when hubby is home to watch him I have Saturday and Sunday and like before 6 AM or after 6 PM. So I should get up at fucking 445 and drag ass to the gym? Which, if you think that’s the answer, I have a knuckle sandwich for you… Becuase, fuck no. Or I can go as soon as hubby is home from work and miss out on dinner, bath, and bed, with the Bean Sprout? Which is such a lovely time of the evening and I don’t really feel like giving that up! And so if I don’t use free hubby childcare I have to have it planned in advance, so I can use the childcare at the gym. I can’t just be like… “Right! I have 5 min now lets head out!” I have to PLAN childcare, at the Y you have to book DAYS in advance. I also then have to PLAN when it fits around naps and 3 meals and 2 snacks a day, and god forbid he sleeps in that day and shifts everything! I have to like WORK to workout… and it fucking sucks balls you guys.

I want it to feel like freedom! I want to feel liberated, and sexy, and energized. But it just keeps feeling like WORK. And that says nothing about how fucking exhausted I am already, before having crushed it at the gym. The few times I’ve actually made it I was so soul-crushingly exhausted afterward, and for the entire rest of that day, that I couldn’t really do anything and I certainly didn’t enjoy myself. It’s such a catch-22. I won’t get fitter and less exhausted unless I work out, but working out right now fucking ruins my whole day. And I can’t even beg off mom duty yet and say let’s watch a movie after a hard workout… the Bean sprout isn’t old enough for that to work yet.

But I want to have another baby. I don’t want to go into the FET in a few month carrying all this extra weight and not in peak physical form… and I know the only way around it is to fucking eat better and move my body! I know this. So why can’t I make it happen?!

So, right now I am working on baby steps. I am eating better and snacking on junk less. I haven’t bought any junk or ice cream or whatever in 2 weeks. I am making a commitment to at least get outside and walk for 30 min every day. and I will be starting soon with at home workout videos. I want to do those 3 times a week. I already own them so they seem like the best solution right now. Even though I would rather hit up a class at a gym. But I can’t make excuses to not do an at home workout 3 x a week right now… and so that’s where I’m starting.

It’s fucking devastating that I haven’t figured this out yet at 15 months into having a baby. It’s even more disappointing because it is something I really enjoy and should also count as self-care. I’m working on it. I just never thought it would be this HARD.


The Chicken

Working Out For Fertility
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6 thoughts on “Working Out For Fertility

  • March 23, 2017 at 9:45 am

    YouTube is your best friend.
    My favourite is PopSugar, but there is also ToneItUp and others.
    Type in the type of exercise you want to do and the time. 10min arms, 15min cardio, etc and you are set!
    Doing ten minutes at a time is more manageable than finding a whole hour ( or even a half hour).

    • March 23, 2017 at 12:00 pm

      Yes, internet is full of nice and short workout videos. I did some by Zuzka Light and she is particularly good for moms as they last between 5 and 20 minutes. No excuses really 🙂 And those short but rather hard workouts usually feel like hell, so I bet they work, haha. Good luck and don’t worry – the hardest part is to start. In no time you’ll be fit and happy to move your body again. 😉

      • April 3, 2017 at 11:04 am

        Thanks for the pep talk! I’m sure you’re right. With time it’ll feel great.
        XOXXO, The Chicken

    • April 3, 2017 at 11:03 am

      YAS! So much good content on YouTube. Thanks
      XOXXO, The Chicken

    • April 23, 2017 at 10:24 am

      I have not. I’ll look into it though, thanks!
      XOXXO,The Chicken

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