Here you will learn about our infertility journey. The A to Z of what has happened so far:
When we were married we didn’t think we wanted to have children. Ever. Like, never, ever. That lasted a while but, after 4 years of marriage, our ideals started to shift. Slowly, it went from “We don’t want to have children” to “We would like to… someday”. Then, in the summer of 2012, we went on a trip to Ireland and Scotland and everything changed. While we were there, enjoying all of our spectacular coupley-aloneness, something just clicked. Boom! We both wanted children. Pronto!! It was an exhilarating and surprising discovery and so, in the heat of the moment, I tossed out my pill pack. Mid-cycle.
What. A. Rush.
I felt so liberated! Having sex after that I was SURE that we were magically making a baby. But that didn’t happen. For the next year I had very sporadic cycles. Ranging from as short as 23 days to as long as 50 between periods. It was torture, my hormones were obviously having a hard time adjusting to life off of the pill: I gained weight, broke out into horrible acne on my face and back, had hot flashes and insomnia. UGH. Finally, after 11 months off the pill, things seemed to normalize. I started getting more regular cycles again. Hallelujah! I figured that my body knew what it was doing now and I would get pregnant soon!
The fun times and carefree sex continued. By and large it was an enjoyable process. “Huzzah, making a baby takes a while but is a lot of fun”. But then, the months dragged on … and on. Still no positive test.
At the year mark I got a recommendation to a reproductive endocrinologist to see if there wasn’t an underlying issue and we settled in for a 4-6 month wait period. This is, actually, very short in the industry. Thank god. I don’t know what I would have done if I had to wait a year or more to be seen. And many people do. We met with our appointed fertility guru in April 2014 and had her run all manner and type of tests.
This was much more stressful than I had thought it would be. When we first threw precaution to the wind I never expected it would take so long. I was not coping well. I was a general mess and very emotional about it all. So, I got a psychologist to help me navigate the journey. Yup, a shrink. She rocks my socks and has made a huge difference. I recommend therapy to everyone. Even if your life is dandy! She’s been incredible.
We proceeded with all of the poking and prodding that comes with testing. After a month of medical scrutiny we head back in to meet with our dr. and find out what’s what. I hadn’t been able to book my follicle count (to see my eggs up close in my ovaries) before the appointment and was going to have it done the same day. We finished our appointment with our guru on a positive note. Based on all the tests so far it seemed highly unlikely that the scan would reveal anything unusual. So far everything looked normal and right on track. She prescribed Clomid and said she’d follow-up as soon as the scan was done. Same day follow-up? Sweet. So I wandered off to the scan and sent the husband back to work. Like she said, likely nothing to worry about, so no need to inconvenience him longer. The scan was located downstairs from the fertility office so it was quick. I felt buoyant. Hopeful. After the scan I went back to the dr. upstairs and was put in a room to wait.
Finally, in walks the guru. I jump up, “Everything fine? Just go ahead with the Clomid as planned?” I rush. Hopeful…. “Not exactly,” she replied. “Your blood tests all look like that of a healthy 28 year old. But unfortunately, your eggs don’t.” Everything enters slow motion. “What does that mean?” I ask. She proceeds to tell me then that my eggs are not the way they should be at 28. There aren’t as many of them, and they are not as big and juicy as they should be. I sit in a daze… I seriously cannot wrap my head around any of this. My eggs? Really?! Right out of left field. BAM! But, I’m not even 30! The rest of the visit is a daze, as are the next few days. I just sit and sit. I don’t even know what to do. To say I was gutted would be putting it lightly.
So, to start with, I tried Clomid. I did that for two rounds. Hated it. I had loads of side effects: hot flashes, mood swings, abdominal swelling, weight gain… I had to come off. Eventually, I went back to the clinic to decide next steps and, by accident, ended up with a different doctor. He was more positive and wanted me to do Clomid with IUI (insemination with hubby’s sperm) and add progesterone after the procedure. So we tried that, too! I have now done two rounds of IUI, both of which were unsuccessful, and we’ll need to do IVF.
IVF was a mind fuck and very very hard, but you do what you’ve gotta do right? We went ahead with our first IVF cycle in March of 2015. I documented the whole thing on the blog. Find: Stimulation-here, Egg Collection-here, Embryo Development-here, and Embryo Transfer-here. Which resulted in our first ever glorious BFP. After 3 years of trying and going all the way with treatments we now have our very own baby boy-Mr. Baby Bean Sprout– born Dec 2015.
That’s been our journey so far…
(P.S. The husband is such a hunk, in’t he?!)