Hello Lovelies,
Here you will learn about our infertility journey. The A to Z of what has happened so far:
When we were married we didn’t think we wanted to have children. Ever. Like, never, ever. That lasted a while but, after 4 years of marriage, our ideals started to shift. Slowly, it went from “We don’t want to have children” to “We would like to… someday”. Then, in the summer of 2012, we went on a trip to Ireland and Scotland and everything changed. While we were there, enjoying all of our spectacular coupley-aloneness, something just clicked. Boom! We both wanted children. Pronto!! It was an exhilarating and surprising discovery and so, in the heat of the moment, I tossed out my pill pack. Mid-cycle.
What. A. Rush.
I felt so liberated! Having sex after that I was SURE that we were magically making a baby. But that didn’t happen. For the next year I had very sporadic cycles. Ranging from as short as 23 days to as long as 50 between periods. It was torture, my hormones were obviously having a hard time adjusting to life off of the pill: I gained weight, broke out into horrible acne on my face and back, had hot flashes and insomnia. UGH. Finally, after 11 months off the pill, things seemed to normalize. I started getting more regular cycles again. Hallelujah! I figured that my body knew what it was doing now and I would get pregnant soon!
The fun times and carefree sex continued. By and large it was an enjoyable process. “Huzzah, making a baby takes a while but is a lot of fun”. But then, the months dragged on … and on. Still no positive test.
At the year mark I got a recommendation to a reproductive endocrinologist to see if there wasn’t an underlying issue and we settled in for a 4-6 month wait period. This is, actually, very short in the industry. Thank god. I don’t know what I would have done if I had to wait a year or more to be seen. And many people do. We met with our appointed fertility guru in April 2014 and had her run all manner and type of tests.
This was much more stressful than I had thought it would be. When we first threw precaution to the wind I never expected it would take so long. I was not coping well. I was a general mess and very emotional about it all. So, I got a psychologist to help me navigate the journey. Yup, a shrink. She rocks my socks and has made a huge difference. I recommend therapy to everyone. Even if your life is dandy! She’s been incredible.
We proceeded with all of the poking and prodding that comes with testing. After a month of medical scrutiny we head back in to meet with our dr. and find out what’s what. I hadn’t been able to book my follicle count (to see my eggs up close in my ovaries) before the appointment and was going to have it done the same day. We finished our appointment with our guru on a positive note. Based on all the tests so far it seemed highly unlikely that the scan would reveal anything unusual. So far everything looked normal and right on track. She prescribed Clomid and said she’d follow-up as soon as the scan was done. Same day follow-up? Sweet. So I wandered off to the scan and sent the husband back to work. Like she said, likely nothing to worry about, so no need to inconvenience him longer. The scan was located downstairs from the fertility office so it was quick. I felt buoyant. Hopeful. After the scan I went back to the dr. upstairs and was put in a room to wait.
Tick-tock.
Finally, in walks the guru. I jump up, “Everything fine? Just go ahead with the Clomid as planned?” I rush. Hopeful…. “Not exactly,” she replied. “Your blood tests all look like that of a healthy 28 year old. But unfortunately, your eggs don’t.” Everything enters slow motion. “What does that mean?” I ask. She proceeds to tell me then that my eggs are not the way they should be at 28. There aren’t as many of them, and they are not as big and juicy as they should be. I sit in a daze… I seriously cannot wrap my head around any of this. My eggs? Really?! Right out of left field. BAM! But, I’m not even 30! The rest of the visit is a daze, as are the next few days. I just sit and sit. I don’t even know what to do. To say I was gutted would be putting it lightly.
So, to start with, I tried Clomid. I did that for two rounds. Hated it. I had loads of side effects: hot flashes, mood swings, abdominal swelling, weight gain… I had to come off. Eventually, I went back to the clinic to decide next steps and, by accident, ended up with a different doctor. He was more positive and wanted me to do Clomid with IUI (insemination with hubby’s sperm) and add progesterone after the procedure. So we tried that, too! I have now done two rounds of IUI, both of which were unsuccessful, and we’ll need to do IVF.
IVF was a mind fuck and very very hard, but you do what you’ve gotta do right? We went ahead with our first IVF cycle in March of 2015. I documented the whole thing on the blog. Find: Stimulation-here, Egg Collection-here, Embryo Development-here, and Embryo Transfer-here. Which resulted in our first ever glorious BFP. After 3 years of trying and going all the way with treatments we now have our very own baby boy-Mr. Baby Bean Sprout– born Dec 2015.
His birth has been a blessing to our family and has motivated me to write a children’s book about alternatively concieved children! I really wanted to have a book to read with Bean Sprout as he grew to validate and open his eyes to the special way our family was formed. That book, Extra!, will be availble through Amazon.com January 2018. I hope his birth and this story inspire others to rejoice in the unique way that their family was formed!
After having our son we decided that our family wasn’t complete, which was a shocker for me as I had always imagined a one and done sort of family for us, but with the knowledge that it wouldn’t be as easy as some vino on the beach hubby and I dove back into active trying. After a year of unsuccessful timed boinking we took the plunge and signed up for a frozen embryo transfer at our clinic. I went through all the work up, and started Suprefact to down regulate my ovaries in preparation for our upcoming transfer. That’s when I missed my period. That’s right, we wound up naturally pregnant in the month leading up to our transfer, while on suprefact. Our new addition, Skywalker, is due to arrive the beginning of May 2018.
That’s our story… so far.
Love,
The Chicken
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I’m 28 with very few itty bitty eggs. IVF only produced 3 eggs – 1 of which took. After years of trying, it only takes one egg. Good luck in February!
Betsy,
Wow. It’s so nice to meet people who have the same diagnosis as me. I’m glad you finally got your miracle! Fingers crossed I’ll join you soon!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
We went through three IVF’s and finally got pregnant on the third. Our little girl is such a miracle . Best of luck next month, my eyes, fingers, and toes are crossed for you! One last thing, a friend once asked me if we would be open for adoption after all the infertility treatments and I said yes so she said ‘then try not to worry TOO much because sooner or later you will become a mom’. It really helped me and I hope it helps you.
Angie,
Thank you! I’m glad you got their in the end. I have to keep the faith that eventually I’ll be a mother. It helps keep you moving forward.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Sending good thoughts your way this month for lots of mature strong eggs that fertilize and divide properly. I can completely relate. I have done IUI and IVF with no success. I am in the process of doing IVF again. With a different doctor and different lab.
G,
Thank you for your good thoughts! I wish you so much luck on your own journey. I know how painful it can be. Sending you all the support!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
I did progesterone and clomid for 6 cycles before we finally conceived our son. Had the hcg shot. I’m sure you will be a wonderful mother some day soon. Don’t lose hope!
Diana,
Thanks! Yeah I’ve done those already. I wasn’t a fan but it looks like it’s onto the major leagues now lol. I’ll have to learn to like needles.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Thank you for sharing your journey; it is definitley helping me with mine! My eggs are 10 years older than I am (what the?) and we start IVF in Feb too 🙂 Here’s to the shots, the hots and everything in between! Sending support and good vibes your way!
Kristy,
CYCLE TWIN! OMG. I’m excited now. Here’s to buggered eggs and IVF results, lady!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Oh my gosh, infertility sucks! Where was this when I was struggling to get out of bed because my ovaries sucked and didn’t want to work?! Stupid reproductive systems!
We ended up having our miracle in October of 2013 and couldn’t be happier with our little man. It’s funny though, the obnoxious comments don’t stop, even after you have a child. Now, everyone keeps asking me “when” we are going to have “another one”. Seriously?! Don’t they know how hard it was to get the first one?!
Anyway, rant aside, I am sending you good thoughts and prayers that you’ll get the double lines ASAP!
Jen,
Thank you! Yes, infertility super sucks. It’s horrible. I think the constant comments is much more a symptom of our society and how everyone “knows” better than you and needs to tell you what worked for them. Ugh. LOL I’m so pleased you got your miracle. here’s hoping i join you in preggo land ASAP.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
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I am in training to get my master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling, and I really want to specialize in working with women who are pregnant, or trying to be and experiencing infertility, or who are new to parenthood. I wanted to totally high five you when I read you’ve been doing counseling. Infertility affects you holistically, and the treatments are so stinkin’ rigorous that I have no idea why counseling during infertility treatments is not talked about more. (SERIOUSLY….WHY?!) So I super appreciate your periodic shoutouts to counseling in your posts, because I think it should be required for anyone pregnant, TTC, or dealing with fertility treatments.
Anyway, I’m so grateful that you are sharing your story. Hearing voices like yours is invaluable to me as I embark on my own journey as a counselor.
Keep up the great work on the blog! I’m excited to join in your journey, and I am praying for you and your hubs.
Shannon,
Yes, please specialize! We need more therapists like you. My therapist has specialized and has undergone treatments herself. It’s been a wonderful transition to have her. I am whatever the opposite of ashamed is, I need help to stay sane through this crazy process. I own that. I’m human. Also, our clinic actually covers the counseling if you do IVF. So while Ive been seeing my shrink for over a year the next few months it will be free! #winning. Glad you are enjoying the blog and finding it helpful!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Wishing you lots of luck! I’m starting stims for my first IVF cycle tomorrow! Will be following along with your journey! xx
Elle,
Best of luck to you, too! I start down regging soon. Glad to have you along for the ride.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
So glad to have run across this site, and that more people are talking about this! I was 38 before my OB/GYN suggested that I go to a clinic to get some baseline labs done. I’m divorced (no kids), so was single and not sure how I got to be 38 already! Took about a year to wrap my head around the idea of doing it all alone, then went through 4 unsuccessful IUIs, started dating someone (who ended up having sperm issues…figures!), we broke up (over other issues, for the best!), then 3 more unsuccessful IUIs, more time to wrap my head around letting go of the genetic tie and starting a donor embryo cycle (also called snowflake babies in some programs) – got a negative beta, only to then end up with ectopic pregnancy and emergency surgery. Whew. I feels like a lot typing it all out. Now at almost 42, just started my 2nd donor embryo cycle with a new donor, and hoping that these are not as directionally challenged as the last…
For sure trying to stay positive and laughing is sometimes all that can be done! And having a supportive group of friends, especially when you don’t have a partner to share it all. Although I know that’s not always the case in relationships…this is so difficult no matter the situation!
My hope is that more people talk about infertility, and that OB/GYNs bring up testing and options to women in their late 20s and early 30s – there’s a lot of info out there that makes us all think that getting pregnant into our 40s is easy, when it’s really the exception. And, as you and others here are experiencing – hurdles and issues come up much earlier than we think possible.
Anyway, glad to have found this blog, and best of luck to you in your next cycle! Hugs!!
Jen,
That’s my hope too! Talking about infertility gets it our there. Starting early doesn’t always change anything but KNOWING early what you are working with can be helpful, preventative medicine. I’m so glad you found the blog too! Welcome.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Hello there,
I am so happy to hear that 3 years of struggling resulted in a successful pregnancy! This gives me hope!
I left a comment somewhere else (can’t remember, you have a big site!) about my new blog. I have since changed the address. My new one is below.
I am also following you on twitter (I am ”EmptyMamma”).
I wish to remain anonymous because 1) people judge and 2) it allows me to be more honest on my blog posts. So ”EmptyMamma” it is!
Take care.
EmptyMamma,
I am glad that my story has given you hope! Yeah being “out” certainly isn’t for everyone. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I wasn’t open about my identity but too late now! lol Thanks for following my journey!
XOXXO, The Chicken
After finding that both tubes are filled with scar tissue I decided to go the ivf route about 2-3 months ago. I’ve gone through the egg retrieval and got 37 eggs. 24 mixed with sperm and 16 fertilized. Even with so many eggs I can not tell you how nervous I am to have this transfer tomorrow. I decided to stop trolling the internet and just pray about it but not before admiring your positivness and greatness. Youve made me feel so much better already. … I’ll be thinking of you Unpregant Chicken ?
Kayla,
Crossing everything that this works out for you! I’m glad I was able to give you some positivity and peace ahead of your transfer.
XOXXO, The Chicken