Hello Lovelies,
Well, it’s here. Good bye 2014 and hello 2015!
I have to say, all in all, I am very pleased with how this past year went. No, I didn’t get a baby, but overall it wasn’t my entire focus either. When 2014 began I was pretty all consumed with the ache and need to have a child. I was feeling defeated, derailed and pretty desperate. I am happy to say that as 2014 rolls out I have found a better balance. I still want a child desperately but it’s not taking over every minute of my life. I have worked very hard this year to get back some semblance of balance so I’ll chalk that up to a win.
Therapy works, kids. Haha.
Having re-evaluated the past year and now looking towards the year ahead I, like everyone else, am wondering what it will bring. There is always so much uncertainty around starting a new year, especially while trying to conceive. But hopefully there is excitement as well! I have so many fertility related questions bubbling around in my head.
Will we finally become parents in 2015? How will my body respond to IVF drugs? Will I need to use donor eggs? Will we do three full cycles? Will I want to stop before then? What happens if we don’t have a baby?
But I need to remember…
2015 is bound to be a huge year for us whether we achieve pregnancy or not. There's more ahead! Click To TweetLike…Will I finish my novel on time? Will I snag the agent I have been cyber stalking? Will any publishing houses be interested in what I have to say? Can I land a post on HuffPost this year? Where will we travel to?
…See?
Balance.
Perspective.
I am really, really trying. Some days I do much better than others. Don’t we all? So here are a few goals I have set for the coming year in relation to trying to conceive. Feel free to co-opt any and all that work for you. And as always…
Remember, dear TTC community, to take “baby steps” (pun intended) with your resolutions. Click To TweetMy 5 goals for a Happier, Healthier 2015:
1. Use Dr. Google less: I’d say don’t use it at all but someone would call bullshit. Google is amazing, and can be incredibly useful. I have learned a LOT on this journey from “the Google”. However, there is definitely a limit. No one needs to be worrying about if their heart burn is really a heart attack or whether their HCG numbers suggest ectopic pregnancy. Sometimes it’s best to just walk away. I’m talking no more Googling my two week wait symptoms erratically at 4 am. That kind of thing. You know, as I said before, balance.
2. Be more engaged and supportive with the online infertility community: The community I have found through blogging seriously changed the way I view being infertile. It drastically improved the trajectory of this year and made me feel less alone. I feel that since it has become such an integral part of my day to day life that I need to give back. I have a few interesting projects in the pipes for 2015 that will help me give back on a larger scale, stay tuned. But I am also talking small scale… I want to comment on more blogs, be more openly supportive on social media and add a links section to my own blog. This will help to give back to others what I have gotten from them.
3. Stick to my IVF diet and workout regimen: Eating well and having healthy expectations for working out is something I began to cultivate in 2014. I seem to have found the right combo for me. Maybe all I needed was the IVF cost hanging over my head to really want to get healthy. When you are willing to pay that much having the best shot possible is important. Whatever the reason, I have recently overhauled my diet and will be continuing to workout this new year. Hopefully, the combination will lead to a healthier more fertile me. I am less concerned with the numbers on the scale, a big step forward for me, and more concerned with how my body is performing. Small changes, over a long period of time, lead to big changes.
4. Stick to my self-love goals: I set some pretty intense goals to improve my self-love just before the Christmas season. So far it has been going pretty well. I am loving myself more fully than I have been the last few years of trying to conceive. I want to keep at it in 2015 and get to know and love the real me more and more. I may never have children, and I want to know how awesome I am even if I have to accept life without that.
5. Be more engaged with the journey and less focused on the end goal of producing a baby: As an infertile couple in our third year of trying there are times when we find it pretty difficult to step back from this situation and live in the moment. Sometimes I get very caught up in when my next ovulation will be. Or when I’ll be able to test. Or if the cycle will work out like I want. I am working very hard to give myself a little more distance from the whole trying to conceive mess. I need more sanity and joy in the present.
It's important to factor in some distance while TTC. Keep focus on the positive this year. Click To TweetSo as 2014 draws to an end I want to thank you all for your contribution to making this year great. You’ve been a source of comfort and a wake-up call when I needed it most. Here’s to 2015! May our best years lay ahead!
Best Wishes,
Unpregnant Chicken
Great goals. I hope 2015 is the one for all of us that are still waiting!
Laura,
Thanks, girl! Bring on 2015! I’m ready.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
I am sooo guilty of #1! And #4 is something I should adopt too (pun not intended) 😉
Wishing you all the best in 2015, and looking forward to reading more from you!
Renuka,
Thanks! Best of luck with your own new year’s goals. May 2015 bring you happiness, fun times, and love!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
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I have successfully stopped using Dr Google. It’s really hard, but it’s also easy to remember that people with happy endings don’t usually have time to post their stories online. And it’s always good to take into consideration all of the negative, but sometimes a tiny bit of negative is all we need. I also have other people who can google for me and tell me if there’s something I need to read! 🙂
Grace,
Yay! Progress! Haha. It’s true that most of what ends up online is going to be anxiety producing and downright depressing. Am I to understand that you now implement a “Google team”?… Hmm, wonder if I can swing that somehow too. LOL
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
A great list of 2015 goals. I certainly will gain more peace if I can implement even one. Thanks as always for the encouragement and realism regarding this crazy journey.
Nicole,
Nice to see you here! Missed you! Thank you for the compliments and best of luck on whatever goals you are working towards this year. TTC related or otherwise!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
I’ve been trying to think of positive resolutions for myself and haven’t found any that stuck, so maybe I’ll copy a few from your list and hope that I can keep things in focus this year. I feel like I’m at a point where I’m just holding my breath waiting for a miracle or a tragedy and I don’t know how to plan beyond that.
Jess,
Absolutely grab any of these that work for you! It’s so hard to see past the next treatment cycle to plan ANYTHING, I know! Here’s hoping we can take tiny positive steps in the meantime.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Wonderful goals, friend! I’m proud of you for having STARTED a novel, let alone planning to finish it.
Let’s hope 2015 brings us everything we wanted. (And if a stork brings it, that’d be okay, too.)
Kim,
Thanks! I NEED to finish it this year. I on purpose turned down full time employment for that reasons this year sooo…. NO EXCUSES lol. I hope we both come out the other end of this year happy, healthy and not any crazier than we started it!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
I’m just getting up to speed on your blog. Love what you are doing! I am in a similar spot as you only I recently learned my insurance requires 6 medicated cycles until I can go to IVF. IUI #4 tomorrow! Anyways I wanted to say I love your goals – esp number four. I am going to steal these and perhaps add a #6: Live in the moment. I feel like my mind can so engrossed in this journey that I forget to wake up and appreciate what is going on around me. I want to be better at not letting this take over my life – which was my big miss in 2014.
Looking forward to reading more and thanks for including us on your journey! Xx
PS: any tips or tricks for #6 would be greatly appreciated. I’m looking at therapy options for sure.
Allison,
Welcome aboard! I love the idea of adding #6: live in the moment. For me my shrink has SERIOUSLY helped. Also we do a daily gratitude jar to stay focused on the positive and meditate to calm the fuck down lol. So far that’s been helping. But its a tough one. Good luck with round number 4! *ding ding* play ball! (Am I mixing my sports metaphors? I think I am… I don’t watch sports).
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken