Lovelies,
As we get close to our FET I keep having these thoughts… Like, you guys, what if all this shit doesn’t work? Wading back into TTC is terrifying because you’re handing over the reins of control again and have no idea how it will all turn out! And yes, it’s different now that I have the Bean Sprout. The terror is not the same, it’s different … but not less. It’s like the same level about different things. I know what I’d miss. I know what my son would not have. If this all goes sideways… This isn’t the same fear of never feeling like I’d have a family. Or wondering what my life would look like without kids. In that way I agree with all the nay-sayers, it’s not as hard. But it’s just as scary. I wish we didn’t have to worry about all that. I wish I could just trip, fall on a dick, and wind up pregnant. At least we have frosties. At least we have that…
XOXXO,
The Chicken
I’m sorry this is so scary. I hope the next steps of the process go as smoothly as possible for you. Here’s a positive spin on the feelings of fear: The terror means that you have a chance of success: because if you have a chance of success, then you have a reason to fear failure. So: great fear of failure also means great chance of success. xoxoxo