Hey Lovelies,
Something I have been giving a lot of thought to lately is how much I post about Bean Sprout on social media and the blog. Because, really, it’s a lot. I am definitely an over sharer by nature but having had the bean has intensified it. He’s just SO CUTE, y’all. There is also the argument that all of our family is spread out all over the place, but I know that even if everyone was right around the corner I’d still post about him all the time. He’s the light of my life and also the main focus of it right now and well… I finally can! I know that a lot of infertile peeps choose to not post much because they remember the pain it caused but I seem to have swung the other way. I am so deliriously happy to have him that I just want to choke your feed with it. Super awesome…*eye roll* … I know. There is an argument though about consent that you shouldn’t post much of your child online because they aren’t old enough to allow it, and then there’s the pedophile aspect, and the anything you post on the internet can be stolen and used for whatever purposes… and so it has been giving me pause lately. Is it the right thing to do? To post about him ad nauseum on my social media? To publicly share his image with people all over the world through this blog? I don’t have an answer… what are your thoughts?
XOXXO,
The Chicken
I don’t gave an answer either. Like you I’m sensitive to the consent issue. On the other hand photo/video sharing is such accepted behaviour that taking a hard line on it feels too dramatic. The other piece is that we now have SO MANY photos. What on earth do I do with hundreds and thousands of photos? Make family albums like my mom? Hahahaha. The existence of all that media almost demands that it’s shared, because otherwise what is it all for? I try to set limits and have very strict privacy though. And though I am proud of my blog and happy it’s out there, 99% of it will be going offline before AJ and her peers are literate. (I know that doesn’t mean the content can’t still be accessed somehow, but since I’m nobody of any great importance I’m assuming no one will consider it worth the effort to snoop on me. ) I also have the strictest possible privacy on social media, and have mostly stopped expanding my networks.
Turtle,
Totally, what is the use for them all if not to share?! Scrap-booking?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY BOOKS I COULD FILL?! I have have high social media settings to, due to the blog, anonymity is more paramount than it used to be.
XOXXO,The Chicken
I strongly disagree with anyone who promotes a paranoid view about sharing via social media. Our children will live their lives on social media. Teaching them to have a healthy respect for themselves and understanding of online safety is much more powerful than trying to shield them from it. And as for pedophiles?! Dont post naked pics of your baby. But more importantly, do we not allow our children to play sport or attend Scouts or church because of the small risk of pedophiles? You have to live life, not fear it. Social media is the future. Our childrens future is already online.
Emma,
I feel you, girl. I agree that this is the future and there is really no going back. Resistance is futile. But I’m unsure if we will look back at today’s privacy settings and openness and think of it as the wild west of the internet. lol. I also agree that living in fear is stupid and happens about too many tings now a days.
XOXXO, The Chicken
This has been an ongoing argument for quite awhile. Some are completely against this practice while others, like Emma, think it’s being blown out of proportion. I’m of the opinion that people need to do what they are comfortable with. That said, I don’t post any photos of my kids online and I’m very mindful of social media use. There’s so much data collection happening at the moment and it’s a huge business where it’s not revealed why it’s being collected. In addition, once online, it’s there forever. And I don’t feel comfortable having images out there of my kids that others can use for their own purpose without my consent (read terms of agree with most social media and you’ll see you forfeit ownership of those images).
That said, this is how I feel. Not everyone feels that way as their comfort level is different. So the big question is where are you at given this information you have? No one can really answer that but you. And no one should.
Cristy,
I get most worried that because he’s so gorgeous (if I do say so myself) that someone will monetize a pic of him and I wont get to properly claim credit for him as a model! What if his face is selling cars in Japan?! 😉 Still, I lean towards share.
XOXXO, The Chicken
I post some pictures of my kids on FB, but not many. and often times it is a side view or back view of them, just because. My boy, 4yr, already doesn’t want me taking pictures of him most of the time, so I have to respect that. I’m a bit wishy-washy but err more on the side of caution.
JustHeather,
Interesting that he is aware of it already!
XOXXO, The Chicken
My thoughts are to put yourself in your child’s place. If your friend was sharing dozens of pictures of you daily and writing up everything you did for her feed to read, would it feel good or weird? Would you feel like she was using you to tell other people a story, or would you feel celebrated? I think everyone will have a different reaction to having someone write about them or post pictures, but a good general guideline is to do what you would feel comfortable having done to you. Because… after all… you son will grow up and would you be cool if he wrote about you? If the answer is yes, keep posting. If the answer is no, pull back.
I think that’s a false analogy. It would weird and creepy if a friend took pictures of you and posted them around the place, but the parent/child relationship is different. Of course, once your child is old enough to voice an opinion, you should respect it. But before that, their care, their clothing, all their choices are made by the parent, and what the child does and their development is as much part of our life as the parent. When we post pictures of our babies, we are telling our own story too.
I honestly don’t think its any different to sharing pictures with granny of the children, like people did in the past before there was the internet. Especially if you have good privacy settings on. The technology is different, but the social practice is the same.
Emma,
HAHAHAH I had the same thought (sorry, Mel) that the parent-child dynamic is way different than if a friend was doing it. Because, um, stalker! Truth, the social practice of sharing photos, is the same… good point. However, the fast paced all consuming nature of it is very different. Maybe that’s part of why people think it feels intrusive? I feel like these are really interesting questions about social constructs and new traditions and needs Anthropological study!
Makes me think about going back for my PhD and finding freaking cool research questions to center it around haha.
XOXXO, The Chicken
Mel,
I hope my son will feel celebrated looking back over what I have chosen to document and share. Also, whoa, Bean Sprout might one day blog about us?! *Twilight zone theme*And I guess it’s safe to assume that as teenagers and up they will have their own SM accounts and probably will post about us.
XOXXO, The Chicken
No need to apologize for being so amazed, thrilled, and just plain happy and wanting to share it. The picture thing I don’t do much of mainly for safety reasons. I don’t want some weirdo down the block or 5000 miles away to use their photos for all the wrong reasons. My sister has no trouble posting them though, even though I’ve asked her not to, so they’re still out there. As far as annoying people with too many pictures… it was a lot worse in the old days when somebody would corner you in their living room and yank 50 photos out of their wallet. Now people can just scroll by if they’re not interested.
I have my own thoughts on it that I don’t think it’s right to be an oversharer of kids. But if I had kids I have no idea how I would act so who am I to judge.
I think the fact that you’ve thought about it and considered all angles says that you’ve gone about it the right way.