Hello Lovelies,
Something that people who have ‘naturally’ conceived their kids have probably never thought of it… is this kid, for sure, 100% mine? Like, they took my eggs and hubby’s sperm but did they for sure mix them together? And if they did was it for SURE one of our embryos that wound up back inside me?
Now, I am pretty confident that Bean Sprout is made from both my DNA and hubby’s… but what a thought! A thought that was not helped when I started reading about mix ups in the USA this summer. Raising a baby that you thought was for you but wasn’t, that’s one hell of an unintended consequence for using ART to conceive! Then what the hell happens to these poor families once the mistake is found? That’s your baby that you love and carried, birthed, raised… what then?
I mean, where does Bean Sprout get his bum chin and super dark hazel eyes anyway?! (They’re from my mom, incidentally, but looks funny since neither hubby nor I express those traits). Things to ponder. Or not, if you ever feel like sleeping again!
XOXXO,
The Chicken
Mix ups are a crazy terrifying thought! So much trust is involved in the process. That story of the twins, one of whom came from another family…..I can’t even imagine.
Turtle,
Right?! *shudder* It’s weird the things you think of when you give the control to other people.
XOXXO, The Chicken
Actually, I read somewhere recently that most babies not conceived through ART have a higher chance of not being related to the father. Infidelity is high and it’s easy to conceal. So in a weird way, ART is a way to ensure paternity. Especially since mix-ups come with lawsuits.
Cristy,
Baha! I have no doubt that is true, hadn’t thought of that really, but assuming then that at least one party is in on it.
XOXXO, The Chicken
I ask this question in a philosophical way and not being at all accusatory. I am also intentionally leaving out the component of this dicssuission related to being lied to or misled as I think that is the far greater issue than biological relatedness in those stories mentioned above.
Now for my question:
Does it actually matter if you are not biologically related to your family?
Many families are both knowingly (eg. blended families and adoptions) and unknowing (eg. hidden adoptions, infidelity) composed of people with varying degrees of biological relatedness.
Does that make them less of a family? Does it make them less responsible to each other? Does it mean they love their families less than biologically related people?
I am curious to explore the idea that biological families are somehow better than non-biologically related families. This is reflected in a lot of policy and society including how protecting biological family units is sometimes put ahead of even the child’s best interest.
Lastly, apologies if this is not the right forum for this conversation. Please remove it if that’s deemed best for your content :).
Carly,
Sorry I hadn’t approved this immediately! I hadn’t seen it. Yes of course those are all wonderful questions. For me, I think that no it doesn’t matter. The problem is that whoever the embryo was created from may not really agree… especially if they had been unable to conceive at that point. What if they wanted to sue for custody? *shudder*
XOXXO, The Chicken
Definitely was a thought that crossed my mind, though think of all the hospital mix-ups that happened before IVF. At least, that’s what the soap operas will have us believe.
Mel,
I think there is a fair amount of drama to switched babies in any which way they come. And yeah I guess there are many ways for it to inadvertently happen. But imagine that baby growing inside you and there being no hospital mix up and it STILL isn’t ‘your’ baby.
XOXXO, The Chicken
Yes these thoughts did cross my mind when we were doing ART – not helped by the fact that they often had the wrong file or didn’t know our names! Although to be honest there would have been a better chance of it working if they HAD mixed them up: mine were such Franken-embryos that they ended up in the bin, not me… Ah the joys of ivf!
Different Shores,
Ha. Funny how sometimes we can benefit from a screw up, hey? One persons trash… as they say lol.
XOXXO, The Chicken