Hey there Lovelies,
So, the time has come, this week I go back to lecturing about infertility. You might remember that last year I started giving University lectures related to infertility and I was invited back to do so again. A happily accepted as I very much enjoyed doing it and think it is beyond important. I wondered if I would feel different about it this year after giving birth to my son, and I do… I feel like it’s even more important! I really do still feel driven to not only advocate but, more importantly, educate.
Maybe it’s because I’m a teacher. Maybe it’s just my personality. But educating is deeply important to me. Either way it feels crucial to be speaking about infertility. The talks this term are focused on the sexual mechanics, or lack thereof, when infertile; and the emotional implications of being infertile in our child-centric culture. I am beyond pumped to give them.
Infertility is so often something that people that haven’t gone through it cannot fully understand. I’m not saying that my talks make the students experts in infertility, I’m not even implying that they really “get” it after my lecture, but they are less blind.
They understand some of the challenges that people experience while trying to conceive and what it might look like to have to work around those challenges in order to become a parent. They also understand more about the costs (physical, emotional and monetarily) that come from having to deal with a condition that renders one unable to conceive on their own. Not to mention why our culture is beyond fucked up when it comes to just expecting people to procreate, and how it can really mess with you if you can’t.
I’ve heard from the professors I worked with last year that students have reached out about my talks and thanked them: for helping them understand more of what a friend was going through, for preparing them for the diagnosis that they later received, for making them feel less alone. That is the reason I do this. Because the students I often talk to are just beginning to enter their child bearing years and many will face these challenges, or know someone who does, in the years that are coming. Having met me, and heard me speak about it, they are, hopefully, better informed and will be better equipped to deal with it.
It’s my hope that you all, in the infertility community, feel I’m still an acceptable representative and are in full support of my advocacy.
Wish me luck,
The Chicken
I love that you’re continuing to advocate and educate. It is so important!
Jen,
Thank you!
XOXXO, The Chicken
Not only in full support but very grateful that you do it.
Mel,
Yay, thank you! I like to hope most people will be happy and excited about it really.
XOXXO, The Chicken
Good for you! We need all the advocates we can get.
Mali,
Agreed. Talking to masses of university kids isn’t for everyone, but I love it. It’s something I can do to help.
XOXXO, The Chicken
I think it’s great that those people continue to advocate after they get their happy ending as long as they advocate for all outcomes and educate that not everyone becomes a parent.
Greg,
Of course, when I advocate, I’m all for lying to the students. You know, tell them it’s really just a secret club where we win other peoples babies and steal them if we need to and then we all sit around cackling about how we all got happy endings. You know. The truth is so boring and really, do they go to university thinking they will learn? DO advocates actually try to enlighten? Ha!
The Chicken
It’s not so much lying to them (I see your sarcasm) as it is only painting part of the picture. The part of the picture being the one that sells and connects with the audience rather the rest of the picture that is depressing that no one wants to hear about.
Greg,
To not tell the whole truth IS to lie to them. I am advocating so they understand the reality of the diagnosis. Not trying to sell IVF tickets. The reality is that treatments often dont work and some people are childless. I don’t sugar coat it. In all my lectures we go over infertile vs sterile and the different DX that fall under those headings and the treatments for them. We also talk treatment statistics and acknowledge that they won’t be/work for everyone. Honestly, I think you must know that advocacy is about illumination of this painful diagnosis and not to gloss over the facts. That’s what I do. I advocate for understanding and support for those that are infertile. To understand and support they need to see the whole picture. Depressing or not.
Xoxxo, The Chicken
Hi Kaeleigh. I think it’s wonderful that you keep advocating. The fact that you now have a baby doesn’t in any way take away from all that you had to go through to get there. I’m so glad that you’re giving the whole story, though. As one of those who doesn’t have children, after 8 years on this journey, I appreciate that.
I hope that you enjoy interacting with the students. I’m sure that what you share with them will help them if they ever have to face this journey themselves, or as they come across others who are going through it. For me, one of the most painful things about infertility is the lack of understanding and the insensitive comments that arise from that. So I’m all for education! Thanks for being part of that.
Rachel
Rachel,
It was a great experience, as always, to talk to the students about infertility and my journey. It makes it so worthwhile when they ask real relevant questions. Glad you support my efforts.
XOXXO The Chicken