Hey again Lovelies,
This is post 2 of 2. If you haven’t read the BFP story yet please see here! I wanted to keep the photos on the BFP results post to a minimum as I know those kind of things are triggering for many of you out there. I may be pregnant right now but I’m trying hard to remember to be sensitive. As we have now had our 7 week scan (Yes, you’re 2 weeks behind me IRL) and everything came back perfect I wanted to share the announcement photos that I will use on my personal FB page.
This can be controversial. The idea being that, as an infertile, I should understand that Facebook announcements can be hurtful to those still going through the struggle. Those who have not managed to get pregnant. I get it. And it’s not that I don’t understand or care, its just that I am going to do it anyway. I know. Maybe that makes me a bitch. But hear me out…
I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 3 years. I have never had a pregnancy before. I have spent those 3 years planning out everything that I wished I was getting to do. Everything that all my fertile myrtle friends were getting to do all the time. And I made a promise to myself. If and when we were finally able to conceive a child I was going to celebrate. I was going to allow myself to be happy and to do the things I had wished I could do and I was not going to apologize for it. Infertility has stolen my joy for more months than I care to count and I will be fucking damned if I let it steal the joy from my pregnancy. Therefore, you are warned. I may post scans and bump pics on the blog. BUT I will always do them like this. In a clearly labeled post where nothing is going to be sprung on you without your consent. That way if you are in a place where those kinds of photos are exciting and fun, look away. And if you are down in the deep dark muck, you can opt out.
I thought long and hard about this and I think that it is a good balance of allowing me my joy and also not stealing yours. I hope I am right. I hope this feels ok for you all. *side note: I will do the same for any pregnancy related posts going forward, I will clearly lable and trigger warning them so that no one gets any unwanted shocks.*
So back to me dreaming about all the things I wished I could do for the past three years. One of those things was announcement photos. Where you get to be lovey and use cute baby things to take memorable photos, all while not yet being huge or pukey! Awesome! So I planned a wonderful photo shoot with our friend Nicole Modde basically as soon as the shock wore off. She is a spectacular professional photographer, find her work -here-.
They turned out perfect. I really love them! I know what your thinking, though “GASP, it’s so early Kaeleigh, what if, what if, what if…” Well, Ill tell you what if. If nothing else, if everything goes to shit, I will have this momento of the first time I was ever pregnant. And I’m happy with that. So please find below our shabby-chic, rustic-barn, lovey-dovey, announcement photos! There are 6 of them. Enjoy!
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PHOTOS ARE COMING. THEY ARE GORGEOUS AND STRAIGHT VOMITOUS. BACK OUT NOW!
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HERE THEY COME!!!
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Oh god! They just melt the heartstrings don’t they?! Those are the shoes that I used to announce to hubby!! There you go. The first thing I was letting myself do as a preggo. I really think it was a good idea. Hopefully, if you stuck around for this whole post, you thought so too!
Lots of love,
Unpregnant Chicken
I think that this is a really important thing to talk about-taking responsibility for our own emotions. I do get bummed out when I see another person get pregnant and I am still not, but it is up to me to deal with my feelings, not to try to shame people who should be reveling in the absolute JOY it must be to be finally pregnant after infertility. I find it incredibly sad that people feel they should tamp down their joy because it might upset someone still dealing with infertility. You spent many years crying and trying, and honestly any time someone achieves a pregnancy after all this miserable non-stop invasive nonsense, we should all celebrate. We are all connected, and you deserve to shout it from the rooftops. Being sad or hurt that you are talking about your pregnancy isn’t going to put a baby in my womb any faster. I am truly happy for you and LOVE the photos. Congrats!
Maria,
Thank you and yes. It is very much about owning your own reactions. But I am committed to making it easy to navigate. So hopefully if we work together( I notify triggering posts and they all acknowledge that their feelings are their own) well all continue to get along smashingly.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
I have been following your blog for a while now and you are continuously in my thoughts and prayers. So happy that you got GREAT news! Congratulations and the photos are very cute! Will continue to pray that everything goes well for you and your growing family 🙂
Kate,
Thank you for your continued positive thoughts.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Beautiful photos! You should celebrate, love! It’s something I need to let myself do more, and don’t do enough even at 19 weeks. I am
so incredibly thrilled for you and your husband. Looking forward to many more updates as you enter this new phase. It will certainly bring up many emotions but it’s a wonderful journey.
Nicole,
Thanks for your continued support. Glad your preg is progressing well.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
I’m so glad you’re celebrating this as you should be! You worked hard to get here 🙂 Those photos are really beautiful, and I’m so picky. Congrats!!
Cheryl,
Thanks, I certainly think they are something special! It was hard work. So glad I chose IVF now. Hindsight and all it seems worth it haha.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
I LOVE your announcement photos. Absolutely love them! It’s never too early to celebrate that beautiful life inside you! Biggest congratulations to you two!
Risa,
Thanks! They certainly turned out well.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
I echo those above. I’m glad you’re thinking of the ones who are still struggling, but it definitely gives some of us hope. Will be thinking of you! Fingers crossed! <3
Mandy,
Thanks!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
(heart you) and CONGRATULATIONS xoxoxoxoxoxo
Leslie,
Many thanks.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
I’m so happy for you! Loved the pics, teared up a bit ☺☺
Wahoo! Happy first pregnancy Vibes to you!
Melanie,
Aww thank you so much. That’s so sweet to hear!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Hi I have been following your IVF journey on Twitter and I am about to start my IVF cycle. I just wanted to say CONGRATS! and commend you for the very respectful and considerate way you announced your news. It is the first pregnancy announcement I have read in awhile that didn’t make me wanna scream and cry. Thank you for sharing your journey it has helped me not feel so scared and alone. So happy for you.
Krysta,
Thanks. best of luck to you for your cycle! It’s a crazy ride. Hopefully worth it! You are not alone. We are many!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
So important to celebrate. This is a big WIN from one infertile to another! xo
Unattainable,
It certainly feels like it! I am very happy. Thank you!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
After everything you’ve gone to in order to become pregnant, you absolutely deserve to celebrate. I appreciate that your posts are taking those of us still in the IF trenches into consideration. I’m so very happy for you, and your announcement photos are adorable!!
Jenn,
I just adore them too! They turned out so well!
XOXXO,
Unpregnant Chicken
Kaeleigh, I am over the moon for you!!! A belated congratulations on this wonderful news! And I commend you on choosing to embrace this pregnancy and mark the milestones the way you want. All while being sensitive, which can be so hard to do, but bravo for doing so. I wish you a very happy 9 months and many, many more posts filled with photos and updates.
Cristy,
It’s a tight tightrope to walk for sure. I am glad to hear you feel I am doing a good job at it. Thanks for the well wishes! Hoping everything keeps going well from here on out.
XOXXO, The Chicken
Gorgeous pictures. I love your attitude! Would you say to anybody not to make wedding pictures just because 50% of marriages fail? NO!
Esther,
I seriously love this analogy. Someone on Twitter said that this morning too, was that you? It’s brilliant at any rate!
XOXXO, The Chicken
Huge congratulations!!! You’ve waited so long and deserve to celebrate!! I love that you’re living in the moment 🙂 I actually have a pair of my hubby’s baby shoes that I would love to use to tell him I’m pregnant. Some day!! Your pictures are stunning! Can’t wait to see you get bigger and bigger!
Mrs V,
Thank you! I loved the shoe announcement. The look on his face as he realized what they meant was priceless. You wont have to wait long. I’ve got a small bump already at 7+2… God help me when I get into the double digits.
XOXXO, The Chicken
It wasn’t until the end of the post, but it brought tears to my eyes! I am so happy for you. And h*e*l*l yes!! You should celebrate your pregnancy with as much enjoyment and enthusiasm as you can. YOU ARE PREGNANT!
JustHeather,
Yes, I AM PREGNANT. AHHHH!! It’s surreal but wonderful. Thanks for your support.
XOXXO, The Chicken
I’m so happy for you! I have been following your story for several weeks now and your last two posts just made me cry like a baby. I admire your strength and courage and I wish you and your husband lots of happiness. I just started my 1st IVF cycle this week (after multiple failed IUIs) and stories like yours help me immensely. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so excited for you.
JennVee,
Best of luck with your IVF! You’re in for a ride, but hopefully it will all be worth it!
XOXXO, The Chicken
Hi,
I’ve been thinking about replying to your post since I read it. I decided to wait a bit and see how my 2ww would turn out today. Now that I’ve got my result from the clinic, what I’ve been feeling to share is even more appropriate.
See, while reading your post, I had a whole new perspective on things that struck me in the face. It made me realize what I wanted to do for my next pregnancy, for this pregnancy. I can’t really make you see how it struck me without sharing a little bit of my own story. It might get sensitive, feel free not to read it all.
I’ve been trying to conceive for something like 6 years. When I got pregnant last fall on my first try with IVF we were happy as you can imagine. But we wanted to be cautious. And wait ’til the first trimester was passed to share the news with the world and let things go. My parents and mother-in-law knew, like a bunch of colleagues, but that was it. No big announcements, no Facebook, nothing. We were patiently waiting. And then Christmas happened and we decided to share the news with hubby’s brothers and sisters-in-law since we were going to have our 13 weeks ultra sound at the beginning of January. And then our life turned upside down with the scan result (the day after my 29th birthday!). It’s not really the point, but still.
What reading your blog made me realized is that I was so concentrated on being cautious about the pregnancy that I lost the whole fun of it. I have no tangibles souvenirs of it either. I didn’t print any ultra sound images right away. I didn’t take any specials pictures like you did. I lost this beautiful time being too cautious. I didn’t even have morning sickness! LOL But what a shame. I am a positive person in life. I still was positive all that time, but I wish I had been more like you. I wish I had souvenirs of that time and not only create “remember” souvenirs after the loss. So my point is, thanks to you, I’ll follow your way of thinking this time or will sure try. Clearly knowing anything can happen, but I want to enjoy every second of it. It may sounds stupid, but I think I’ll start with a home pregnancy test. I’ve never seen a positive home pregnancy test. I want one, I want mine.
So… thank you!
CaroPelchat,
Oh my! I am so so glad you took the time to comment. I always worry that I’ve somehow made people feel horribly by behaving so excitedly. Your comment has touched me to my very core. I don’t think there is anything silly at all in wanting ot see the positive on a home test! That was my original plan was to take it only once I knew for sure because, like you, I wanted to see it and hold it and have it to stare at forever. I wish you the very best in this pregnancy and may your next 9 months be nothing but happy and healthy ones!
XOXXO, The Chicken
Congratulations! I have been out of the loop but so happy to hear this news!
Turtle,
Thank you so much!
XOXXO, The Chicken
I actually avoided looking at your site for a few days, in case you posted a negative result. I’m happy I looked today! I’m so happy for you and wish you a healthy pregnancy and baby.
You go ahead and own your joy, lady!
The hardest part for me after my miscarriages was when friends were bitching about their pregnancies. I wanted so badly to be in their shoes and it felt like they were ungrateful. Now, it makes my heart glad to see happy pregnant ladies (even after I have successfully had two gorgeous wee girlies).
SweetPea,
Thank you. I am trying to stay happy and joyous.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
” … if everything goes to shit, I will have this momento of the first time I was ever pregnant. ” You are so right – this is how I feel about the times I was pregnant, and happy. I remember them with love, not pain. I’m glad you are relishing this. Why feel pain if you don’t have to?!
And a personal thank you for the tact and discretion you are showing about putting photos up. These photos on this post wouldn’t have bothered me at all, but I can understand they would bother others. I have however come across blogs with scan photos right at the top of their posts – or only a few sentences below – with no warning, and those have – even after so many years – felt a bit like a punch in the stomach. Yours however, would have given me time to prepare or turn away. I think it’s the best of both worlds – you’re honouring the journey you’ve been through, and the people you’ve been through it with, by being sensitive, and yet you’re honouring your own (and your husband’s) struggles and joys by enjoying and celebrating the good news.
Also a thought about Facebook – if you have any friends you are particularly worried about, you could block them from certain photos, and send them a personal message instead. I am sure that would be appreciated.
Mali,
All good ideas, thank you. I’m glad you felt the pictures were dealt with sensitively. I really agonized over whether to post or not.
XOXXO, The Chicken
So beyond words excited for you Kaeleigh!!! I have been following your journey for a while and got my BFP a week before your transfer and have been out of the loop! Unfortunately I have a blighted ovum and our darling baby never formed and I go for my D&E tomorrow at 11w1d and of course we are heartbroken! But you need to know that the women who read your posts have watch your struggle and struggled right along with you. Your success is our success dear! You deserve to celebrate this momentous occasion to your hearts content and I’m going to be cheering you on from the side lines all the way babe! Please enjoy every second of these amazing months and know I am following your journey always! Your positive is a positive for us all! God bless you and your sweet baby! Love and light!
Alia Renee,
I’m sorry to hear of your blighted ovum! That is so scary. I am glad that even though you are dealing with your own heartache that you found joy in my news an felt that I handled it appropriately. Thank you so much for your love and best wishes!
XOXXO, The Chicken
Always! We have to support each other in our defeats and sorrow and in our successes and joys!! Regardless of what I’m going through, seeing your blog, hearing of your triumph, knowing how beyond excited you are brings me hope and true joy! I pray we all get to feel what you’re feeling now! But believe me when I say I understand the tightrope you are walking…being in the Endometriosis community where infertility is everywhere and there are so many women with no hope of ever having their own children due to hysterectomies at such a young age I was in the same position when deciding if and when to announce our joy to my sisters and knowing how much to post about it and still being understanding of their pain but not stifling my joy. Its very hard but I think you’re handling it beautifully darling! You deserve this time to be has excited as you want to be…that you’ve worked for years to have and I hope to see many more excited posts about your journey! God bless you and your honey and your sweet baby! Love and light to you three!
Alia Renee,
Many thanks.
XOXXO, The Chicken
I started reading your blog six months ago, after I read a post about or by you on pregnantchicken.com . I am so happy that after all your struggles you get to enjoy this moment, and that you are enjoying it to the fullest! Nobody should be ashamed for feeling happy.
A week ago, I found out that I have PCOS. Two hours after my doctor’s appointment, one of my best friends gave birth to her first baby. A bittersweet day, but I would never have wanted to miss out on her joy, even though it stung a bit at times.
Your blog made me realise that one day it will be my turn to enjoy every aspect of pregnancy and birth. Thank you for that.
Caroline,
Diagnosis stage is so hard. I remember it well, shock, pain, confusion, fear… you’re doctor will help when you have a plan. Then there can be some hope. Luckily, PCOS is usually highly treatable and I have hope you’ll be knocked up soon!Good for you for letting yourself feel the pain AND joy about your friends birth. That’s a hard space to be in.
XOXXO, The Chicken
Congratulations! And I absolutely love your photos! I just found out that I am pregnant after a long battle with infertility and your post was exactly what I need to read – it is so important to celebrate this huge next stage of the journey. I wish that I could wave my magic wand and bring good news to all of my friends that are struggling with infertility.
Lauren,
Thanks and congrats as well to you! Brightest blessings on your pregnancy.
XOXXO, The Chicken
So I started out doing some research on my sign (Sagittarius/Capricorn cusp) and came across one of your posts… I immediately had to know if you got your future little visionary!!! By the time I got to these pictures I was crying like a baby (unintended pun)!!! I am so excited for y’all (can you tell I’m southern?) and I can’t wait to see how everything goes with my little sign twin! December 19th has always been good to me so if she chooses that day then no worries! ?
Sarah,
Hahah!!! Love that you found my site through an astrology search. I’m getting my little Sagittarius/ Capricorn baby but it’s a HE! Craziness ensues lol. Thank you so much for the support!
XOXXO, The Chicken
I’m a mommy to a handsome (not so little) boy! I’m 31 and he just made 11 and he’s taller than me! Take it from me, boys are the bees knees! I had no idea what to do with a boy when I found out what I was having but quickly I fell in love with my boy and how much he loves his momma! Congrats again! I feel certain he will be a strong force! Born on the leading edge and to such enlightened parents! Sending lots of love and light your way!
Sarah,
Thank you! We are thrilled beyond thrilled!!I have nannied a total of 8 boys in my life so when we found out I was ecstatic. SHOCKED! To be sure… But ecstatic none the less.I’m very comfortable with raising boys at this point and can hardly believe he gets to be my own! I cannot wait to meet him and see what he has in store. Thanks again for all your support. I haven’t technically done a gender reveal on here yet, guess I’ll start penning that now. ?
XOXXO, The Chicken