Hello Lovelies,
Embryo transfer was a very cool experience. It was so cool that I said to my therapist a few days later that I actually LIKED the IVF journey. And, without any hint of irony, I think I meant it at that point! It’s just so magical, you get to SEE the living thing that they are going to put back inside you and then you WATCH IT HAPPEN.
Surreal.
Incredible.
AMAZING.
Here’s how it all got started: On day four after egg collection we got the update we had been praying for and found out we had embryos that made it to morula stage. YAY! I was cleared then for a day 5 transfer of one blastocyst stage embryo. I would not find out the numbers and grades of the embryos that made it to blastocyst until I was at the clinic for transfer the next day. I really wish that the clinic had given me a Valium for the night before the embryo transfer, like they had for egg collection. I did not sleep well. I was WAY too excited.
I woke up early the next morning. My appointment for transfer wasn’t until 10:30 but my acupuncturist wanted me in for two treatments that day to help my body be relaxed and accepting of the tiny baby, the first one happened before the actual transfer. So off I shuttled to acu at 8:00am. It was a good idea. I had a hard time unwinding but after the full 60 min on the table I was much more relaxed than I had been going into it.
We then had a little bit of time to grab breakfast and head over to the clinic.
It was nerve wracking sitting in the waiting room beforehand. The 15 min before we were called into the operating specific waiting room were intense. But not as intense as actually being called. When they called my name I thought I might puke everywhere. The time was here!
In a moment I'd see the baby that was going back inside me. Nothing else mattered. Click To TweetNot even my bladder.
It needs to be full for transfer to get the best picture possible on the ultrasound.
I drank a full liter of water in the waiting room.
A liter.
…Comfy.
But it didn’t matter! I was going to get to see the embryo! The actual embryo that they would transfer back to my body! AHHH.
So I waited semi patiently as they got me all checked in and as we waited for the embryologist sitting on the OR table. I was clutching hubby’s hand pretty tight and kept bursting into nervous laughter. When the embryologist finally did arrive and handed me the picture of our potential baby I didn’t really even know what to do with it. I just stared at it. Long and hard. It was so crazy.
I know what blastocysts are supposed to look like. And mine looked like I expected. A tiny cluster of packed cells that will be the baby, a ring of cells along the edge of the egg that will become the placenta, nice fluid filled space in the middle like there should be. How cool! The embryologist said that it was a very nice quality embryo and that my odds were pretty good.
Then they asked me to lay down as and they prepped me and did the mock transfer (inserting a catheter in through the cervix to make sure it’s the right sized one) and the whole time they were showing me the actual embryo on a tv screen. As in, there was a microscope in an adjoining room where the embryo was in a petri-dish, and we were looking through it. I wish they would have zoomed in more, it looked a lot like a speck of dust to be honest, but it was cool none-the-less.
Then it was time for the real transfer. I watched in awe as the embryologist sucked the tiny spec baby into a glass straw and then he WALKED INTO THE ROOM HOLDING IT! OMG. Then a scary thing happened. The catheter got stuck three times as they tried to get it in past my cervix again! AHHH. No good. So the embryologist whisked the microscopic speck baby back to the safety of the petri-dish in the other room. They waited until the catheter was in place the next time before asking him to bring it back in the glass straw.
Finally, though they got the catheter back in place and loaded the little baby inside it. Then we got to watch on an ultrasound as the next part happened. They showed me my uterus, which they said looked wonderful, and you could see the catheter as a long line running the length of it. Then the Dr pushed the plunger on his syringe and out of the end of the catheter shot a tiny white pearl.
That tiny, glistening pearl was our tiny spec baby! Click To TweetWhen they withdrew the catheter the little pearl stayed there. It stayed right where it was put- in the most soft, safe space in my uterus. It was amazing. I wish that I could do it better justice. Like write it a sonnet or something!
I would have liked to have had a picture of the gorgeous pearl sitting in my safe uterus but, unfortunately, I picked that moment to laugh again and it jiggled the ultrasound image at the exact time that the nurse chose to freeze it. Sigh. So instead of being able to take a picture of it I was left staring at a jumbled, squiggly screen instead. Just my luck.
Then everyone left the room except my husband and I. I had to stay there in the stirrups for 10 min before being allowed to move. Not that it mattered, I didn’t want to move. I hardly wanted to breathe. I had a tiny baby. Inside my body! No matter what would happen in the next few weeks, at that moment, I had a living thing inside me. I don’t think we had ever been this close to a pregnancy before. It was awe inspiring and utterly terrifying at the same time. We took this time to look at the picture of the embryo they had just put back
into my body and to stare lovingly at each other. If nothing else worked out at least we knew we had done it. We had made a gorgeous embryo and it was alive right then. When the nurse came to tell me I could get up and pee I was terrified to do it. Even though my bladder at that point was basically about to burst. What if I peed it out!
Well, apparently your uterus is like two hand pressed together. It lets things in between but then cradles it closely, the embryo wasn’t going to go anywhere. Or so they assured me. So I went pee and hung around for the next 20 min with my feet up. See my fancy transfer socks (Thanks “A” on Twitter!) and the special blessed blanket?! Bring all the luck with you, ladies. I figure it can’t hurt.
Then we made our way back to the acupuncturist for my follow up treatment. The follow up acu appointment was only a half an hour session and ended with me getting tiny metal ball bearings taped to different pressure points on my ears. They were not comfortable. They stayed on for over a week. I was also told to get a pineapple and eat the core for the next five days to help aid implantation. Something about the high concentration of selenium in it or something. So I did. Then we got some celebration food and laid on the couch the rest of the day trying not to jinx the whole process and trying to be positive and happy. It was exhilarating and also scary. Overall, it was a very amazing experience and I am grateful to have been able to experience it. Not everyone, no, almost no one, gets to see their baby before it’s even in their body. Very surreal.
Then began my two week wait period. I was officially PUPO- pregnant until proven otherwise. My clinic waits a lot longer than other clinics to let you test for pregnancy following IVF. Most clinics do testing at 9 or 10 days after transfer. Ours waits until 14 days after transfer. Torture. Waiting… it feels like that’s all I do. So, in the meantime, here is a picture of our “baby bean sprout”. It was a day 5 AB hatching blastocyst. Gorgeous isn’t it!
XOXXO,
Unpregnant Chicken
*Next IVF Cycle post on the tww here
Wow, that sounds amazing alright. Glad to hear you had such a good experience! Am crossing my fingers for you! Good luck with the two week wait
DublinGal,
Thanks. It was both hard and awesome.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Hi I had my blastocyst transfer yesterday mine was graded a 3_4 bb 🙂 now am on the long 2 ww x
Moo,
Wishing you heaps and heaps of baby dust and luck!
XOXXO, The Chicken
I’m so happy for you! fingers crossed the 14 days go by quickly and you have amazing news at the end 🙂
Amanda,
Fingers crossed tight that everything proceeds as it should.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
thinking the best for you!
my clinic had me wait until 14 days post transfer to test (no betas are done here, generally).
JustHeather,
14 days is unbearably long! Mine was even for the blood test. They are so sensitive that it’s just unnecessary.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Wow, an incredible experience and you describe it so well. It is a privilege to be able to witness something so extraordinary, that is not something we usually get to see. It sounds like you are doing everything you can for success and I hope the good news keeps coming. Thinking of you one your 2 week wait – hope it goes smoothly!
Turtle,
It was pretty spectacular. Thanks for the positive thoughts!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
gorgeous! here’s hoping little beansprout burrows in and makes its home for the next 9 months!
Mrs. SFLB,
Grow beanie grow!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
I can’t believe how excited I got while reading that! Love the way you described all the details!
Renuka,
Thanks! It’s pretty exciting stuff IMHO!
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
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I’m so excited for you! I have my FET in 6 days and I can’t even wait any longer! I am anxiously excited – I can’t even imagine what the 2WW will be like! Best of luck and wishes to you.
Amanda,
Thanks! It’s an exciting time for sure! Best of luck on your FET. I hope you get amazing results.
XOXXO, Unpregnant Chicken
Hi all. I just want to recommend Valium at transfer time to anyone who might be doubtful. I had a panic attack during the transfer; they were barely hurting me, but what got me spiralling was not being allowed to breathe or move, and I didn’t know how long I would have to stay like that. In short, I ran out of courage. Spectacularly.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t know how to relax if I’m not supposed to take deep breaths. So my diaphragm went into spasm, like hiccups and I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to get it under control, and that everything would fail. Because of me and my nerves.
That’s when the doctor and the nurse screamed in my face that I had to snap out of it and stop shaking. A wise move, because weepy people only get weepier if you’re nice to them. It also gave me enough time to take a breath, and somehow my diaphragm spasms stopped. I take no credit for this; it was probably because I was beginning to black out. And then 10 seconds later, the doc said I was done and now I could cry all I wanted. I said now that the procedure had been completed successfully without my screwing it up, I saw no reason to cry. “You’re kidding, right”, she said.
This entire embarrassing episode was completely unnecessary, because I had brought Valium, but I forgot to ask the docs if I could take it. My husband was not allowed in the surgical area and he had carried off the valium bag before I knew it.
Still, all’s well that ends well. I’d be happy to get pregnant. But for today, I’m happy just to be the one who didn’t have a failed transfer due to sobbing or kicking someone.
Merche,
Um, holy do your doctors ever sound like assholes! I am so sorry they were like that! Valium may have helped, some clinics allow it at transfer others do not. Mine didn’t. They did before Egg Collection though and that was awesome! Glad you got through the transfer even without any kind of sympathy or emotional support. Which is ridiculous really.
XOXXO, The Chicken
Hi Kaeleigh,
I admit that one of the reasons I’m stalking your excellent blog is that you had your cycle right before mine, and I’m hoping your luck will rub off☺️.We’ve been trying more than 3 years too- male factor and inconvenient fibroid. I’m almost 34, and because of the male factor, they told us to skip straight to IVF with ICSI.. I’m doing my IVF in the Spanish public health system. That’s right, the Spanish government pays for its infertile citizens to have a glimpse of hope. The only downside is the absolute military discipline and the lack of information. The waiting list at my hospital is surprisingly good- only 6 months.
It’s funny, because if I were actually pregnant, I could have a say in things. No, I don’t want that procedure, and I don’t feel like a vag exam today. But I want something from these doctors so I have to do what I’m told. Every single time, and they never tell me why.
I find it really helpful to chat with you, my chicken. Wishing you all the best. And as a former Yank who holds Candian-ness next to godliness, I can’t believe that your public health system doesn’t cover IVF. Bummer!
Merche,
Ah, now your previous comment makes a bit more sense. Still, what an ordeal to have to go through with that kind of insensitivity heaped on top. Glad to hear it is covered! We don’t have as much luck this side of the ocean yet… but we are campaigning hard! Fingers crossed that changes soon. best of luck with your IVF cycle girl. you must be close to your tww or almost through it now. Everything crossed for you.
XOXXO, The Chicken
Thanks for Sharing
Emma,
My pleasure, thanks for reading! Hope you are doing well.
XOXXO, The Chicken
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Wow.. Great experience. The transfer is the most exciting day in the whole process. Check my experience about embryo transfer here http://www.theaveragebeing.com/2016/09/my-experience-with-embryo-transfer.html
Average Being,
It was. I’ll check yours out.
XOXXO, The Chicken
Dear Kaeleigh,
I am so, so happy that I came across your blog last night. My transfer is today, and my husband and I read your post aloud last night, and both of us cried–reading your post made my husband and I so excited! You’re a beautiful writer, and the way you expressed your thoughts about your transfer day made us think of it all in such a new light. We just keep thinking of that little white pearl, and the fact that, no matter what happens, at that moment in time, I have life inside of me! Thank you so much – you made today exciting instead of terrifying!
Sincerely,
Stephanie
Stephanie,
I am go glad that this post fave you a much needed mental shift. I’ll be thinking about you guys and crossing everything that your transfer us a success!
Xoxxo, The Chicken