Let’s talk about boobs! Tits. Ta-tas. You know, the fleshy mounds on female’s bodies that can make milk for an infant. I talked about how the start to breastfeeding was anything but easy for me. It ligit did not feel natural. My body was fumbling through the motions. My baby was fumbling through the motions. It was a cluster, leaving him frustrated and hungry and me emotional and discouraged.
“It will get easier”, everyone said. All the really, real breastfeeding posts on Facebook, and my lactation consultant, all sang the same tune.
And it did. It got easier.
But that process, of figuring out the cluster and it getting easier, took 6 months.
6 months can feel like a long ass time. I’m glad that I stuck it out, and am still exclusively breastfeeding, but I completely understand why someone would not do this. Any time in the previous 6 months could have felt like the perfect time to throw in the towel. Honestly.
But now? Now I find myself thinking that I get how people breastfeed up to a year… or longer. I used to have 6 months as my imaginary line in the sand. It’s what most breastfeeding Nazis, er… advocates, will say is the minimum threshold for “best for your baby”. I would have said that I wanted to do it for 6 months and maybe up to a year. At first that was insurmountable.
But now? I can see it.
Maybe the fact that I crossed my imaginary line now has something to do with my renewed commitment to doing this longer. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the Bean Sprout can drain me in 10-15 min, both sides, and so it doesn’t take up the majority of my day anymore. Maybe it’s because let down no longer feels like daggers of god damned fire every time it happens.
Really who knows why, all of the above, none of it… who cares!
I’m just glad I feel ready and able to continue feeding by breast for the time being. At the very least, it gives them a good use now that they are no longer needed to entice hubby into baby making. So, huzzah!
I love re-purposing things.