So this is it. The week is finally here. I will get my period any minute now and then, dun dun dun, start stimulation! For those of you that don’t speak IVF yet that means this is the week I start giving myself the shots. Active treatment cycle! AHHHH This is CRAZY!
I truly felt like it would never come. The beginning of this last month off really seemed to crawl by and then… All of a sudden, it was over. I cannot believe we are starting IVF. This post is about my utter disbelief over the crazy things we are willing to do for a baby. Things I would never have dreamed were possible. Things that make my thoughts swim, even now, staring down the barrel of it all.
I never would have believed I would…
1. Undergo IVF. Until very recently this was not even on my list of things to consider, yet here we are. Paying 15,000 dollars for a shot at parenthood seemed crazy, it still seems crazy… But I signed up to do it anyway.
2. Stab myself with 3 needles a day. For two weeks. Straight. I hate needles. It’s almost a phobia. No one likes them but I truly fear them. But I am gonna do it. On a time limit. Every day. Come hell or high water… Moving on.
3. Allow science to dictate my movements. No sex at certain times? Sure. No dinners out unless you want to stab yourself in the washroom? Sure. No fixed work schedule in case we need you at the clinic pronto? Sure. No heavy lifting, and by heavy they mean <10 lbs? Sure. No twisting or running in case you flip an ovary? Sure. No meds for allergies or headaches? Sure. Basically, whatever you say Dr … SURE!
4. Reach a point where this is basically our only way to conceive a child. If you had told me this, even a year ago I would not have believed you. Not in a million years. I probably would have even bet against you on this one. But I was wrong. Well, crazier things have happened.
But here we are! IVF. NOW. This week! Dear God, Goddess, Allah, Yahweh, Buddah… EVERYONE… Please give me strength. It is like we used to say on the playground, and what I hope to say with my future offspring… Ready or not, here we come!