Thought I’d briefly update that since hitting the official halfway mark I am feeling way more secure that this pregnancy is real and stable. There is something in the way that at 20 weeks you would go to L&D instead of the ER if anything were to happen that makes you feel like any concerns will be taken seriously. That and L&D doctors know what the heck to do for pregnant people, ER doctors often do not. I feel like if I rolled into L&D with a problem I would be taken seriously and everyone would be invested in my baby surviving and I would get the best shot. So that’s good! I am living less in fear and more in hope that things are progressing normally and that it’ll all be ok.
It also helps that I have started to feel Skywalker moving more and that’s a good sign. I remind myself on the off days that I feel really worried that though things happen all the way through pregnancy and during birth the overall percentage of loss at this point is low and not to project that scenario unless I need to. And right now everything is going well. So I am doing my best to live there in that knowledge instead.