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PMS fucking sucks. I get all wound up by the end of the month wondering and hoping that by the time I start to feel ANY PMS symptoms I just fall apart. It’s no help that I’m already bitchy and emotional from the swing in hormones. It doesn’t help that I am probably eating less healthy foods and riding the sugar wave and crash. And then I notice that my crappy mood is in direct correlation to my cycle and that I’ll be getting my period any time now… and then I lose it. I just fall apart. I get so mad at myself and so upset by another failed month and it usually ends up in tears. Sad, angry, bitter, all those emotions. So I cry.

Which got me to thinking- Has anyone else wondered how many tears they have shed over babies they hoped would come? I took the Harry Potter Quiz over the break and it revealed that I’m a pretty even split between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, so maybe the Ravenclaw aspect is why I feel the need to quantify shit like this, I dunno… But I have found myself wondering about all the times I was sure I was pregnant. Only to wind up not being and then crying.  And I wonder how many tears I’ve actually cried? A bathtub worth? Swimming pool? Lake? Ocean? … I don’t know. But I do wonder.

It’s the pits.

The Chicken

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2 thoughts on “Micro Post: How Many Tears?

  • August 21, 2017 at 11:50 am

    Sorry it’s so hard. I’ve tried very hard to be even headed about TTC but it just isn’t possible sometimes. I have never been much of a crier but I would get moody and detached from daily activities. It’s ok to acknowledge and honour those feelings. And I hope things change for you soon because they can change; just because it sucks now doesn’t mean it will be that way forever.

    • September 2, 2017 at 6:23 am

      Thank you for the kind words. You are right of course, as with all feelings the bad ones ebb and flow. It is hard to honour them in the moment but also really important too. Grief is powerful.
      XOXXO, The Chicken


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