So, as I said before the summer break, I was just not feeling ready to jump back into active IVF cycling with the summer ahead of me. I was enjoying my little one and was majorly excited to do things with him this summer. We always travel a lot during the summer months and the timing just wasn’t RIGHT. I don’t really know if the timing is ever really RIGHT, but just then it felt particularly WRONG.
Now it is starting to feel more right again.
I catch myself feeling wistful when I think about pregnancy. I even stuck my gut out far the other day and smiled hoping I will be lucky enough to see the swelling again soon. I am feeling more optimistic that I will be strong enough to cycle again, no matter the outcome. I am starting to think and feel good about the logistics of how to do all the things we like to do as a family if we get to add a second baby to it. I am feeling ready.
So, I turned to hubby the other day and exclaimed: This fall it’s on! Let’s make a baby! …and then I paused awkwardly because, haven’t we already done that part? Aren’t our babies actually already created and just chilling on ice waiting for us to get our ducks in a row and try again? It’s a weird thought. Being that I am not doing a full IVF cycle this time means that our babies are actually already made and we just have to transfer them to my uterus and hope it works out. So, I gave hubby a lopsided smile and said “Let’s grow a baby!”
There you have it. I am going to start putting balls into motion so that I can capitalize on this feeling. As with all other feelings it will ebb and flow. Being as I’m infertile and there are lots of logistical things that have to match up to make a pregnancy even possible, in the hopes that the surge of ” I want another baby” doesn’t end before I can fall pregnant, I figure I best get on it!
-I am calling in my periods.
-I am taking vitamins. GAG, but I’m doing it. (Anyone else just so beyond OVER the damn prenatal vitamins?!)
-I am booked in with my acupunturist. I’m hoping for a few sessions before the cycle month and then pre and post transfer like we did with the first IVF cycle.
-I accepted a cycle for this fall. I about squeeled in delight when the nurse told me she could book me in. HUZZAH! THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING…
-I picked up all the meds for the FET. They are sitting on my counter!
This is it kids. The big leagues. TTC again. In earnest. With medicine.
Dun, Dun, Duuuuuuuuun.
P.S. BABY DUST, BABY DUST, BABY DUST!