So, we are getting ever closer to the time we think we will do the FET and I find that because I am infertile and have all this damn time to think about these things I start to overthink things. Like are we sure, sure we want another baby? Like this soon? What’s the rush? Do I want to fuck up the awesome little family of 3 we are becoming? What if this is crazy and a big mistake?!
I mean frick.
If I was fertile I’d have gotten magically knocked up sometime around New Years when we first tossed the idea around about trying. But I am not fertile and didn’t magically conceive in January and so here I am, freaking 5 months after starting this conversation, 8 months after getting a period and not starting to use protection, still not pregnant. It’s driving me bonkers.
Any of those months I could have just been pregnant and then I could have stopped over-analysing. But that wasn’t my destiny. My destiny, it turns out, is to worry over things I cannot possibly know or control. Forever! But really, how do you KNOW KNOW that you want a second baby? I guess this is a normal way for me to feel. Remember when I felt like this before even getting pregnant with Bean Sprout? Yeah, and that turned out pretty good! Sigh.