Hello Lovelies,

Thank you all again for your kind words over the weekend. It was very much appreciated! So, as you all know, I just finished my first cycle of IUI. Because of my awesome track record of spotting like crazy I was proscribed prometrium this cycle. To be started the day of my IUI and to continue until results came in from the blood test… so in my case 12dpiui. Those of you unfamiliar with this drug, it is an oral pill of progesterone that you use as a vaginal suppository…


You stick those pills right in your va-jay-jay. Two of them!! Three times a day! With your fingers because they do NOT give you an applicator. *What a great visual*

Now that I have experienced the wonderous world of prometrium I present: Adventures in Progesterone!

So, the IUI happens… This was to be my first night of the suppositories. I headed home after and dutifully stuck the two little progesterone jells up there and… I felt pretty fine. I headed to bed for the night and ZONK, out like a light! I slept well and deeply. But when I woke up the next morning, there is no other way to describe it, I felt drunk. Like the day of a friend’s bridal party drunk! The thing is since I’m then in the two week wait, and I don’t drink, I knew wasn’t actually drunk! But, let me tell you, the feeling sure took me back to my college days! I felt like the lady in the cover picture looks!

I was sleepy, and groggy, and slightly unsteady on my feet. I was also very happy and laughed far too easily and far too loud. It was actually kinda awesome… until it dawned on me that I would have to take the medicine that made me “drunk” for a full 12 days if we are unsuccessful and 11 WEEKS if we succeeded.

Um… holy cow!

How was I going to function for that long?!

I literally had to pause and wonder if I would actually be able to resemble a convincing and responsible looking sub-teacher on this shit. Could I be trusted with your children while… “Progesterone drunk?”

The idea was so ludicrous that I guffawed far too loudly. And I was in public. In line at the bank actually.

Nope! No good! I would not make a very convincing, trustworthy adult while hoped up on this stuff.

Unfortunately, real life doesn’t often structure itself nicely around fertility treatments. This new med was no exception. I quickly fumbled through my agenda and saw that I was booked straight for almost the entire next two weeks. Awesome! Working is good, we want a baby and those things are expensive! But, if I want to keep my job and not have to explain my loopy actions and divulge fertility treatments to the entire school board, then work on this stuff is slightly more problematic!

Fortunately/unfortunately, the day drunk feeling only lasted the first few days. I was able to get through most of my shifts with minimal strange looks and felt fairly pleasant the whole time. Then once that passed, I guess my body stopped freaking out about the progesterone and started to use it, I started to feel strange in another way. I started to feel very, distinctly, pregnant.

I know that the suppositories can cause all types of pregnancy symptoms. Basically the side effects of progesterone are the same as the symptoms of pregnancy because both are caused by excess progesterone. The problem is having to remind myself multiple times a day that these things did not mean I was for sure pregnant. Not just me. Also everyone in the vicinity! Everyone was certain that I must be knocked up. I mean I  just seemed so… knocked up! LOL. Obviously I wasn’t, since the blood test came back negative. But the symptoms are pretty convincing.

They include:

-Super heightened sense of smell, as in hubby is affectionately referring to me as “the bloodhound”? Doesn’t mean I am pregnant.

-Overt exhaustion to the point that I am proud of myself if I make it past nine without needing a nap? Doesn’t mean I am pregnant.

-Sore, swollen boobs? Doesn’t mean I am pregnant.

-Irritated nose and gums? Doesn’t mean I am pregnant.

-Crazy vivid dreams and peeing all night long. Doesn’t mean I am pregnant.

Nope, none of these things meant I was pregnant. It just meant I was “with progesterone” not “with child”. It’s even worse because as an infertile lady trying to get preggo I already way over analyze any symptom… now throw into the mix that this IS what it would feel like to be pregnant. I am not imagining it. If I was pregnant this is how my body would react to the extra progesterone kicking around, this is likely exactly how I will feel if I succeed. But this time… It is just phantom and caused by drugs. UGH.

On the upside Progesterone also made me feel pretty at ease with the world. I am calmer, happier, and laugh easier while on it. So that’s nice. It’s a fantastic turn around after being on “crying clomid” the beginning of the month. It also gives me something to look forward to as I prepare myself for IUI #2. I know that after IUI I have two weeks of feeling kick-ass awesome! Love it! Also, it definitely did the job! Like ridiculously well. I got to 15dpiui with NO SPOTTING… NONE… AT ALL! Which is really good if you’re me. Typically I’d get full period by 10dpo with spotting sometimes a week in advance! So 15 days after ovulation with NO SPOTTING?! I’ll take it. On to the next cycle. At least, if nothing else, we have taken care of the spotting.

Unpregnant Chicken

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7 thoughts on “Prometrium Drunk

  • November 10, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    Ask your doctor if using Crinone is an option instead of prometrium. It is a once a day cream that comes in an applicator. I believe it is more expensive…but some things are worth it!!!

    • November 10, 2014 at 4:16 pm

      What makes it worth it more? Other than the inconvenience of sticking them up there so often I kind of liked it! Felt awesome. Makes sex more tricky.. and interesting… Maybe the cream would be better lol.
      XOXXO Unpregnant Chicken

  • November 10, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    Goodness gracious, the things you have to deal with! I admit I giggled picturing you trying to teach a class while progesterone drunk.

    In all seriousness, though, I’m sorry about the phantom baby. Those suckers are awful. It’s so dumb that the symptoms for what we want (pregnancy) and what we don’t want (non-pregnancy) are the exact friggin same. Not cool, body. Not cool at all.

    • November 10, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      Second voice,
      Yeah. The traitorous biotch! Lol. I actually quite liked the feeling of progesterone. And it was funny teaching while feeling off on it, especially because I didn’t have to explain myself to anyone. Win win.
      Xoxxo Unpregnant Chicken

  • November 13, 2014 at 5:45 pm

    You forgot to mention the headaches, vaginal dryness and the morning after excessive discharge that makes you want to wear pads daily! Lol. Fortunately like you said, it hits you hard at first, but eventually your body gets used to them. Another type of progesterone is endometrium which does come with an applicator, Its typically more expensive, and the pill is about the size of a loonie, so 6x bigger than prometrium

    • November 13, 2014 at 5:57 pm

      BIGGER? F that. No no no. Also, I didn’t have any dryness or headaches! Other people probably have though. The leaking though. Ugh the leaking.
      XOXXO Unpregnant Chicken

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