Hello Lovelies,

I wrote a poem! How exciting for you! Well, I should clarify, I wrote a poem for my breasts… but I will share it here for your enjoyment. The breasts say they will enjoy it via your enjoyment. Being as they have neither eyes to read it nor ears to hear it! Oh. My. God. My aching boobs! I guess it must be the progesterone I am taking to support my lining after my IUI. It’s not that I am a stranger to sore boobs. On the contrary, I have sore breasts each and every round with my period. It is actually one of the ways that I can tell I have started real flow and not just spotting. Because when I take my bra off at the end of the day I want to scream and cry. But I’m not even on my period! It was so bad last night that I couldn’t even fall asleep easily because I sleep on my stomach. Oh I am in for a really fun, fun time this month.

As it turns out my boobs are very sensitive to hormones! I first noticed this fact two and a bit years ago when I came off of the pill… at which point they decided to grow an ENTIRE CUP SIZE! When I questioned my lady Dr. about this she shrugged and said that this is probably the way my breasts should have been. If I had never been on the pill I would have been rocking D-cup boobs my whole life apparently. So because she thinks this in my more “natural size” I should embrace the them because they will likely stay that way.

Harrumph!!

I have always had a pretty fair-sized chest anyways and so being told they were going to stay even bigger was not great news for me. But I have worked hard to appreciate them… And all their girth!

One of my best friends has always been envious of my generous cleavage. She lives out in California and after doing some research into breast implants Orange County she managed to find a reputable surgeon. Within a matter of weeks she finally had the boobs she had always wanted.

When it comes to being comfortable in your own skin, if there are things about your body that you do not like, then plastic surgery might help to boost your confidence. Just remember to do as much research into the procedure as possible before you decide to commit to any significant changes.

So since this cycle I am pumping myself full of more hormones to become pregnant the ladies have decided to become even more swollen and sensitive than usual. Joy of joys! Let’s hope these meds and the IUI are successful right quick and I don’t have to go through a lot more rounds of hormone induced hot, sore, watermelon boobs. But in the meantime… As my breasts are so uncomfortable today, and I can’t think of much else, I present to you:

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Ode to My Aching Breasts!

A Poem by: Kaeleigh MacDonald

*Clears throat*…Oh glorious breasts!

Your rounded mounds salute the day,
By chasing other thoughts away.
You dip and dive and gently sway,
I moan, “But soft…”

The light breaks softly across my bed
Falling right below my head
A glorious man turned and said
“They call to me!” I glare… “But soft…”

With quivering breath and sweating brow,
His hand extends towards me now.
I bite my lip as my chin does bow,
I purse my lips… “But soft!”

His persistence is annoying
With my poor nipples he is toying,
And I, for one, am not enjoying!
Crying out, “ACK! But soft!”

This is about all I can bear today.
I straighten my every vertebrae,
I force him off and loudly say,
“They’re tender. Be soft!”

Fin

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Ha! I hope you read it with a lovely Shakespearean lilt! Hollering out, at the top of your lungs “But soft!” No? Just me? Well at any rate I found it quite entertaining to write! If they must hurt so much please let it be a good sign!! *Whine* What things are the biggest issue your body has with hormones? Let me know on Facebook and Twitter!

Love,
Unpregnant Chicken

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